Does ‘the one’ exist?

I have always been a dreamer; I have always wanted to have ‘the one’.

While we question our choices on a daily basis can the loss of attraction be fixed? When a wedge of distance begins to grow amongst a couple is there a way to fix it? Endless hours of getting to know one another and gazing into each other’s eyes doesn’t really exist. I suppose I always thought that couples would last forever, that when I finally chose someone that that would be me set.

Forever, I am beginning to realise is an extremely long time and filling this time with a relationship is becoming ever harder. When someone does one thing to put a dent in that relationship it’s fixable, when they carry on to have minor blips, those too, are fixable, however, what can you do when you begin to lose sight of the person you fell in love with.

I ask myself this question now more than ever. I look at him and think are you changing or am I?

Entering into a relationship in your early twenties is hard. We both still have so much growing up to do, we haven’t formed into the people of our future, perhaps we are simply growing apart or perhaps we’re becoming different people. This doesn’t make me feel any less guilty though. It doesn’t stop me from hating myself for not seeing the man I fell in love with. Can we though, fall in love with our first love? This is yet another question I pose to myself.

I watch my friend’s parents; they’ve been together since they were fifteen and they’ve made it work, so how come now I can’t seem to? I know that I love him but is he my boyfriend or simply friend?

I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how I feel. One minute I see a future with him, I see our forever; and then another minute I can’t see anything.

Boys, I have decided are extremely confusing individuals and ones I can’t read.

Should I have to bring all of the happiness to the relationship? Should I bring the money or should we be equal? Tiring is the word. Relationships are far too overrated (sometimes). I love him and I know he loves me but sometimes looking past the blips and the growing, looking past the changing is hard. But is it worth it? This question is soon to be answered.

I am still a dreamer; I still believe that there is one special person for everyone. I want to believe in fairy tales, however, now I know that life is a little more complicated than happily ever afters. Life has problems and mountains to climb and I suppose that now, now I have begun to enter a world filled with adult questions and choices.

While I believe that ‘the one’ exists I now realise that it’s not all about roses and hearts. It’s about growing together and learning how each other work and move. ‘The One’ can’t be discovered after a first date, it takes months and years of decisions and arguments to decide. So I suppose what I’m trying to say is that we can find or soulmate but we have to work for it. Life isn’t a fairytale it wasn’t meant to be easy.

I am still a dreamer; I still believe that there is one special person for everyone. I want to believe in fairy tales, however, now I know that life is a little more complicated than happily ever afters. Life has problems and mountains to climb and I suppose that now, now I have begun to enter a world filled with adult questions and choices.


Robin Williams

Words cannot describe the loss that as a world we have begun to feel in the past two days. Our lives were touched, and as a whole, as a population we have begun to grieve for this talented man who was tormented by inner demons that not even those closest to him could have known the extent of his horror. 

With the death of Robin Williams, both social media and press offices have suddenly found themselves in an abundance of news. Various groups have differing thoughts on the late actors suspected suicide. 

Robin Williams was a man I grew up with, I watched his movies and laughed at his jokes. From a more serious role in Good Will Hunting to Mrs. Doubtfire, Williams’ roles illustrated his talent as a comedian and actor. A genuine individual with a heart of gold, he had troubled thoughts and a conscience that would not allow him to be rid of his inner demons. 

Struggling with Mental Illness isn’t easy, its hard, extremely hard. When you become your own enemy you lose the person you can trust the most; yourself. Having no one to turn to life becomes very lonely, when you’re lonely you are left to ponder the dark thoughts that have already created this situation. For someone to decide it is time to end their life is not a selfish act. It is a brave one. Knowing that you are going to be leaving behind a daughter, family and friends, creates a situation that takes a lot of serious thought. For any single person, journalist or not to criticise a mans choice is diabolical, hurtful and cruel. They do not know what has gone on in a persons mind nor what has driven them to such a cataclysmic end. 

Judgement is something we tend to do as human beings, judge ourselves and each other. In a time when a serious act is publicised across the world everyone shares a multitude of opinions. For someone to say that what Robin Williams did was selfish is cruel and that person should never be allowed to exercise their right to freedom of speech, well not for the general public to read within a newspaper anyway. We can think what we want but as I have previously said, it takes a brave man to put out the flame of their life. 

Robin Williams’ death has highlighted the risks of mental illness and has already allowed many campaigners to raise their point of needing more help for those who suffer with the disease. It is a disease after all, you battle with mental illness for the rest of your life after you’ve been diagnosed. What most people don’t even realise is that 1 in 4 people will experience some kind of mental illness within a year and mixed anxiety and depression are the leading diagnosis. In the wake of this great mans death many are already seeking help for their issues and are trying to put themselves on a path that he felt he had strayed too far from.

As he said himself “You are only given a little spark of madness, never lose it.” Interpret this as you may chose however, I see it as an innovative piece of information where he prays that we can all see the child within ourselves, that we can laugh and smile at the smallest of things. 

Jimmy Fallon called him the “Muhammid Ali of comedy” and this is a title that is deserving. While Robin Williams made the world smile unfortunately he used all of his happiness up on others.

I hope he has found the peace he could not find within this life. I will watch his films and continue to remember the man that had a brilliant personality that was vibrant and transcended through the television screen.

Rest In Peace Robin Williams, I sincerely hope you have found happiness and you can smile as you have made the world smile.